Dear Rory: Should I Leave My Husband?

Divine guidance on the things that keep us up at night from tarot reader Rory Lula McMahan. She’s taking your questions each month at hello@healerswanted.com or DM us @healerswanted. September’s Dear Rory was live in Seattle at our gorgeous Unfold retreat. She is back this month with the insight you seek to walk your path.

Dear Rory: I am a witch who has embraced the Goddess and my calling to be a lightworker. My partner practices a more traditional spiritual path. I am completely comfortable supporting her choice of spiritual walk, but I don’t feel that the support is being reciprocated, and it’s causing some struggle in our home. I’m just not sure how to proceed from here. –Joe

Dear Joe: 
This is a card that, at its core, tells us to lead by example rather than word. Working with nature-based spirituality (which encompasses many witch paths) means participating in the experience of transformation, just as we witness transformation all around us in the universe, in nature, in humankind, and in ourselves. But many do not enjoy that process of becoming, and understandably so, for moments of truth-seeking are a lot to take in. The unknown is always scary, even when we want to be brave enough to invite it in. Be gentle with those who are frightened by your questions and your exploration of the multitudes of answers. Right now, your ability to be observant, and compassionate, and reflective has the capability to change everything, because even if those qualities don’t change the situation at hand they will fundamentally change the ways in which you both experience and respond to it. This is just the beginning of your journey into finding out what pulls on your spirit, and you are being asked to learn not for anyone else but simply for yourself. There’s no hurry. It isn’t time to make any clear choices or to draw any lines in the sand. It’s just time to start living the tenets of your spiritual beliefs and see how they affect your life and your self in whole. A good spiritual practice teaches us to love ourselves, and by doing that, it teaches us how to move through the world in a way that in general makes our lives better, our relationships more connected, and our communities more whole. But that’s big picture. Small picture is you moving through your day-to-day in contemplation of what you believe and acting in a way that reflects those beliefs. What will be the reaction of others as you become more and more you, however that ultimately happens? You have no control over that. You can only gain more and more insight into your own. 

Dear Rory: I am no longer in love with my husband. Should I stay, or should I go? –Mariel

Draw:  5 OF SWORDS
Dear Mariel: The 5 of Swords speaks to us about being in a battle we can’t win, and so the highest road we can take is walking away from it. At its core, this card tells us that it is time to give up on something not because we failed but because we know that our path just cannot be tied to it anymore. And that’s a difficult realization, because whether a dream, a plan, or a reality, leaving anything we have poured ourselves into can be hard on our hearts. But be aware that this concept of walking away does not define for you which of the battles you should walk away from, the staying or the leaving, both of which are draining you in some way. The most path-opening advice I can give you—or anyone in this kind of potentiality-laden, physical-effect moment—is to be still and listen to yourself. Listen to your own voice that is whispering deep down. Though we like them and even sometimes need them, yes-or-no answers from outside are less valuable for our ultimate growth than learning that those answers are already awake within, because that truth is a wisdom that will serve you across all moments instead of only this one. Your mind is rationalizing the options over and over again in your head, spinning you through webs of endless internal discussion, but down in the still places, down past that driven mind, you already know what you want and what compromises you are willing or not willing to make. And the last thing I will say here is, stop judging yourself. Now. Know that this unclarity and struggle you are experiencing is not a sign of your lack but a sign of your more. A willingness to look at whether it is time to change is evolution, not shame. Your beautiful path is simply your path, and it is a place to discover who you are and the many diverse ways it can look to be yourself. The value of this moment is that you are being offered a sacred, meaningful opportunity to consider what choices—not just here, but in your whole way of living life —cross the line from you being able to be you and over into not. That line is different for everyone, and you have the right to honor wherever yours is drawn.

Rory Lula McMahan

Pagan priestess, empathic spiritual diviner, path opener and Healers tarot reader in residence, Rory Lula McMahan is changing the way the world sees woo, one draw at a time.

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  1. Kimberley wrote:

    Dear Rory, I’ve always lived my life helping my siblings then my kids my partners in life now my husband. How do I find what makes me happy? I’m drawn to nature and mystical things but confused where to turn what to do where to start. I just know something’s missing.

    Posted 1.14.20