it’s an inside job
2020 is here and to be completely honest, I am facing the reality that an inevitable part of my life in this earth body is facing a constant hustle to “get by” in a system that’s programmed counter to the nature of my soul. Like many, I grew up being fed the lie that acceptance and happiness come from the outside. We are programmed from birth to measure up to standards determined by someone else—be a good girl or boy, do well in school, get the job, look a certain way, make a certain amount of money, attain certain material possessions, land the perfect partner, be a certain kind of lover, make others happy. These standards are passed down from society, culture of origin, the media, friends, family, and even our DNA (hello epigenetics!).
I spent a great deal of time in my life giving my power away to others to define my worth. Even as a healer, I struggle with trying to be better, comparing myself and feeling insufficient due to internalized standards of being. I have to remember everyday that the most rewarding and fulfilling experience of all is to love and accept myself for the wonderful, shiny being I am, not for anything I’ve done.
True peace comes when you fully and wholeheartedly accept who you are with love, in glory and in gloom.
I’ve come to learn that true eternal happiness and peace is an experience of TOTAL and LOVING ACCEPTANCE of yourself and your situation in every moment. You must fully and wholeheartedly accept who you are with LOVE, in glory and in gloom. Total acceptance of who you are doesn’t mean you never change or that you must tolerate abuse, it just means you BE, SEE and LOVE whatever arises and take action from that place of balance. As I learned years ago from the amazing teacher Tara Brach, when we approach ourselves with gentle kindness and curiosity, we are able to investigate with love the thoughts, feelings, and emotions we have, remain objective, and love them for what they are. So much of our automatic reaction is a byproduct of our programming, both ancestral and social, and when we are conscious of it, we can make our way back to freedom.
CONSCIOUSNESS —> EVOLUTION
Consciousness is a catalyst for change. Consciousness enables us to BE more fully in the wholeness of this loving existence. Disclaimer: consciousness can be a real painful bitch, too (just saying … seeing the ugly truth ain’t always fun). Am I a master of being and acceptance? No, but I get it, and I’m willing to dedicate this entire decade to simply remembering how to BE more fully and loving what comes up as I do. As another amazing teacher of mine says, it’s all love in the end!
Dedicate this entire decade to remembering how to BE and love whatever comes up.
Much giving and doing is fueled by an external pursuit of love, acceptance and safety. But when love is externalized, we are constantly chasing it. Real, true love comes from within and our direct contact with the Divine, from the still-point of presence when we cease to be separate. What’s an example of something you do with total presence in your life? When do you act and give with no agenda other than your own joy and pleasure? When does your soul soar? Presence allows us to show up for our soul.
STEPS TO FREE YOUR SOUL
Here are some of the tools and snippets of wisdom that have helped me love and accept more. :
– Surrender, surrender to the moment you are facing, even if you HATE it. By accepting it and not identifying with it, you reclaim the power to create a new story
– Learn how to coast the chaos. Entropy gives way to intelligent life.
– Don’t let anyone define your worth. As soon as you feel you give your power away, take a breath, feel the burning sun of strength and power in your core and know that you are well and whole.
– You can’t rush things. You might not reach your goals for 1 day, week, month or even a year. Growth can be fast and slow. The importance is the intention. Hold the intention and watch the magic happen.
– Accept that good enough might equal failing in someone else’s opinion.
– Witness your flaws with curiosity and understanding that gives way to new behavior. We all do really shitty, selfish things.
May this post awaken, inspire, and connect you to something within you that fills you up!
Lizzy McDonald, MSW
Lizzy McDonald is an intuitive teacher and healer who fuses spirituality, intuition and psychology to create cutting edge healing tools and modalities that connect you to your highest self and re-wire your brain, body and spirit for divine wholeness.