Dear Rory: Will I ever get out of this funk and be myself again? - Healers

Dear Rory: Will I ever get out of this funk and be myself again?

Divine guidance on the things that keep us up at night from tarot reader Rory Lula McMahan. She’s taking your questions each month at or DM us @healerswanted

Dear Rory: How do I reclaim and reawaken my creativity after years of repression? –Emma

Draw: 3 of SWORDS
Dear Emma: Emma, it’s time to let yourself feel. Feel everything. It is true that there is protection in pushing down the moments that have been hard, but once you have moved through what was needed for survival, you can safely allow the full scope of emotions to pour through. That is the key to reigniting the creativity you seek, and it is also the key to uncovering who you are now on the other side of ice and what really matters to you now that you have walked through fire. Securely locking up the expanse of your experiences and desires, whether those you had to suddenly abandon or from which you had to consciously turn away, may have provided you with a stable foundation, but now trust that foundation to support you as you lay down on it to mourn what no longer is and to long for what cannot return. Until you open the gates upon your whole, journey-weary soul you will not return to its whole, journey-beauty universe. If you are able to peel back your understandable armor, you will soon discover the indescribably deep connections that have surrounded you the entire way, the hands that have been holding you up, and the unwavering belief in all you will be able to become. Your walk up to now has not emptied you. It has filled you and healed you and made you everything you are. Which means, if you choose to release your bindings, then you can create from everything you are. And you are power, you are potential, and you are ready to acknowledge your tender scars and then reclaim every inch of your vibrant life. Breathe deep, and trust that you can step back into the world. 

Your walk up to now has not emptied you. It has filled you and healed you and made you everything you are.

Dear Rory: Will I ever get out of my funk and heal, forgive, move on and be/love me again? I am in a pattern of negativity, assumptions, and I am obsessing over it. –Molly

Draw:  2 OF SWORDS
Dear Molly: The 2 of Swords is about a core concept: It is time for you to make a choice. And I know this will sound flippant, but you are faced with stepping up and choosing how you frame each day going forward, whether you will see life as a positive or see it as a negative. This tells me that the pattern you are caught in has moved from being an emotional struggle to being a mental exercise, a mindset to be mastered rather than a knot to unravel. There is incredible hope in this sharp information being offered to you. It means you are not forever trapped —I know it can feel like you are in these long moments—and that the outlook is far from hopeless. Yes, coldly conscious decisions can be hard to actually make, but once they are made, your flow and access to creation completely opens once more, the weight comes off the spirit, and you regain those precious glimpses of what it means to feel free. Pull yourself out of those sore heart spaces and start diligently retraining your thoughts, because the ingrained pattern has gained more power than the truth that you yourself are the power. Repeat simple, positive affirmations regularly throughout the day. You may feel like you are lying to yourself, but hone in on the idea that you are creating a new inner-voice autopilot that will eventually kick in without such effort.  I’m also hearing that you should watch What the Bleep Do We Know? to connect up with the truth of how much ability we all have to break patterns and see reality differently if we are just willing to get conscious about it and practice it. You are so ready to move forward as your new self. Decide you are going to do just that, and then choose to walk that way. Or put in more casual terms, fake it til you make it, Soul Beauty.

You are faced with stepping up and choosing whether you will see life as a positive or as a negative.

Dear Rory: I don’t know how to work past people’s prejudices of me. I can’t seem to get out of the cage that society builds around my personhood. My rebellion feels punished by life’s demands.  I try to be a mirror to offensive people but instead I often feel shattered. What should I be doing differently? –Artemis

Dear Artemis: When others can’t see past their own embedded perceptions, there is no more popular response than scapegoating whatever is in front of them that triggered their fears. You may, through your authenticity, indeed be the mirror that shows others who they are, but that does not mean you have to take on their reactive imaginings of who you are. Instead, it may be time to take the chains off and walk away from that which no longer serves your own best purposes. This is not about giving up on your convictions. It’s about holding them so completely that you no longer need to fight to have them shine through. Take the focus off of anything but shifting into your most creative, fulfilled self. Your ability to lead by example right now is profound—and it is not the example you think. You have the power to choose what you actually want and to walk it, to recognize the power you hold in not being beholden to anyone and the sacred wisdom you contain within every cell. When others cause harm, whether intentional or not, it is time to live life for yourself until you get your sense of whole self to fully return. Shield up against those who would strive to influence you in any negative way, and look to making evolved choices that deeply nourish your own heart. Don’t be selfish, but don’t be afraid to take care of you first. No one has the right to drag you down.

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